the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
