some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
