we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
