I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
