she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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