One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
