Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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