it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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