If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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