Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
