I think i sorta joined a cult last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize