Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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