Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
