is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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