No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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