Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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