therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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