Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
