Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
