And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
