so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
