Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
