He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
