we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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