Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
