I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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