he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
