a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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