I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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