Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A bitchslap is in order.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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