so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
