She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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