So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
