why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
