the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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