He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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