I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
