He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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