Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My breasts were aching with rage.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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