Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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