She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
