"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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