I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
