Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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