I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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