I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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