Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
