So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
