I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊