my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.