First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
NoShamevember. You game?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.