she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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