D3 body, D1 cock
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.