Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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(205): View more from Alabama

Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

(1-205): View more from Alabama

You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

(205): View more from Alabama

This explains so much.

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(705): View more from Ontario

and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

U took a sewing needle to his nipple

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Psshh,

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(207): View more from Maine

It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(559): View more from California

Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?

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