I can tuck mytits in my pants
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it was like eating out sand paper
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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