Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
