woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
