dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize