my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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