We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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