remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
