Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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