im drinking this country out of the recession.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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