cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize