i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
