You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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