It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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