so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
