Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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