Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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