Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
