just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm too high and old for this...
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